Wishful Thinking
by blerghy
Summary: The weight of a life on her hands was too much to bear... Gory.


A/N: Well, hello. Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been uninspired.

This was originally meant to be part of 'Of Family and Love' (no I couldn't think of a different title...) but it was a bit too... unpleasant. Oops. I just got bored of writing fluff all the time, so I decided to share some of my more nasty ideas.

I've got inspiration for a whole new story, which I'm very happy with! I haven't abandoned the others, and if there's anything in particular anyone really wants updated, I'll do my best to get it done. The new story has some twists that I'm very pleased about... :evil chuckle:

If anyone thinks the rating needs to go up, just contact me.

Disclaimer: Not yet, my dears... But someday.

**Warning: **This is gory. Descriptions of blood and guts. Don't read it if you find that disturbing.

Wishful Thinking

The weight of a life on her hands was too much to bear. It pressed down on her, leaving her gasping for air as she watched the fire beginning to spread. Two lives ended by her hand. Jasmine could not forget.

Shaking, she cleaned the bloodied sword she held in her hand, looking anywhere but in front of her. But there was nowhere to look that would ease her mind. Flames licking the wood, destroying what remained of the once beautiful city. Rats scuttled around, fleeing from the heat, but edging closer to her. Broken down stones that had once been the floor, covered in the blood she had just spilt. Her eyes went forward, and she grimaced, nausea washing over her.

The great serpent with its throat slit, blood gushing from the wound, muscle and tendon exposed to the world. The metallic smell of blood was evident in the air. She could hear the creaking sounds as the organs of the reptile shut down, and it repulsed her.

She stepped over the wound, ignoring the blood that gathered on her shoes, and walked swiftly to the top of its head. Reaching down, she gripped the enormous crown, gazing at the opal that had been the cause of her murders. It was blood flecked from when the arteries gushed the liquid, but still sparkled merrily, mocking her.

Jasmine jumped down from the head of the snake, Reeah of the City of Rats. She walked over to Barda who stood, frozen, covering his mouth over the body of her other victim. She knew that only something truly horrific would make the proud, gruff man show weakness so, bracing herself, she looked down.

She gasped, staring down at the body before her. The bones had snapped, as shown by the unnatural position he was in. Some of the bones had even broken skin, and blood was staining the whiteness of them as it dripped onto the ground. Through the wounds, she could see muscle that had torn completely, tendons twisted out of place. There were holes in the sides from where the great snake had managed to bite through, exposing parts that should never have seen the light of day.

Bile rose in her throat and, swallowing, she moved up to the dead boy's face. The skin that was not covered in blood was white, and his eyes were glassy, staring up at her. She wished they could seem accusing, or even understanding, but it was not so. Lief's eyes were blank, gazing at nothing.

Fumbling with the chain, she drew out the small bottle that held the nectar of the Lilies of Life. She knelt down, more blood washing over her shoes, and reached forward. Bile rose in her throat and fear washed through her. She had broken him, what if touching him only made it worse? Would her hands cause what was left of him to shatter? What if the nectar did not work? Would she have killed her friend for nothing?

Forcing herself to concentrate, she let a hand touch his face and open his mouth. It was disgusting. His body was still slightly warm, and she would have preferred him to be cold as ice. Surely that would not be as haunting? She could literally feel the life leaving him.

Jasmine tipped most of the nectar into his mouth, smearing some onto his lips, and waited with bated breath. To her utter relief, his body began to sew itself back together. Muscles rejoined before her eyes as bones moved back into place and were quickly covered with new skin. His chest began to rise and fall as he began to breath once more. Barda and Jasmine leant over him, both beginning to call his name, waiting desperately for a response. What felt like an eternity later, his eyes slowly flickered open, and Jasmine felt her heart begin to mend itself. He was going to be all right. She spoke, but could not recall what she said, her emotions taking control of her mind.

A sudden crash alerted Barda and Jasmine to their dangerous position, and Barda picked Lief up swiftly and they hurried outside as the fire spread, only placing Lief down once they were sure it was safe, and when he said he could stand. His legs were obviously shaky, but he stood upright, turning to look at the city. He and Barda spoke, but Jasmine could not understand what they said. She was in a haze, disgusted at what she had done, yet relieved that it was all going to be fine.

Lief turned to her, smiling slightly, and Jasmine felt her breath hitch. What could she possibly have done if she had never been able to see his smile again, knowing it was her own fault? Lief attempted to thank her, _grateful_ for all she had done, though she knew it was wishful thinking. Jasmine just turned away, not allowing his thanks, because she knew that it was she that had killed him. He made it sound as though she had actually done something to help him, when it had been _her_ that had sent him plummeting to the ground in the first place. He had only survived because of luck, Jasmine knew, and luck had never been under her control.


End file.
